


Too Late To Turn Back Now...

by boltschick2612



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, New York Rangers, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 01:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boltschick2612/pseuds/boltschick2612
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people just can't be forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Late To Turn Back Now...

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No More Roads](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/16242) by psharp10. 



> Takes place right before Hank shows up in Detroit in psharp10's [Fear and Flaws](http://psharp10.livejournal.com/15982.html) and [No Roads Left](http://psharp10.livejournal.com/16385.html). Told in first person, from Hank's pov. Story not true.

I should run. Run through the airport, and get back in my car. I should drive home and forget all about him, but I can't. Lord knows I've tried, after all the times that he's left me, but I just can't. After he left me alone in bed that night long ago, I was mad. I thought maybe that night could be the start of something wonderful, and he took it away from me. I was mad....but at the same time, I wasn't. I couldn't be. It's so hard to harbor any anger towards him, I think I understand. He tries to hide the fact that he thinks he's not good enough for me, but I see right through it.   
  
There were a few nights we were together after that, but always at my place, and he was always gone when I woke up. Every time I asked him to stay, and every time he said he would, only to be gone with the morning sun. I should have known better than to put myself through that kind of hurt, but it was worth it to be with him, even if it was just for a few hours. Many people would say I could have anyone I wanted, and ask why I would waste my time with someone who doesn't even care enough to stay the night. Wither or not it's true that I could have my choice of anyone in New York City, I had the person I wanted, right there in my bed. The only problem was, he didn't want me. He could make up some rationalization about not being good enough for me, but the end result was still the same.  
  
Eventually, I gave up. Figured that he needed his space, but I was still holding out hope that he would figure it out on his own. Figure out that I needed him...loved him...didn't see him as imperfect as he saw himself. I was still waiting for him to figure it out the day that I heard he was going to go play for Detroit. I was always waiting, and he was always running away, nothing ever changed. The day he left was one of the hardest, it became real at that point. Real that he thought he had to run from me, real that I would never see him again. For two years I tried to hate him, but I just couldn't. I tried to forget him, tried to find someone else to make me happy, but he haunted my dreams and no one else even compared. We've only played Detroit twice since he left, and both times I asked for Marty to start. I spent most of those games in the locker room, trying to forget that he was in the same building as I was, trying to fight the urge to find him and beg him to come back.  
  
I make my way through the maddeningly slow moving security line, and I almost can't believe that I'm standing in the airport, about to get on a plane that will take me to him. A thousand emotions run through my head. Anticipation at seeing him again. Fear that he'll want nothing to do with me after all this time. Hope that we can pick up right where we left off, as if nothing ever changed. Anxiety that we do, but it's just like last time.  
  
As I slowly make my way towards the gate, I recall the moment I watched him raise the Cup as a Red Wing. My eyes stared transfixed on the TV, and I tried to imagine him in a Rangers sweater, just like I had hoped he'd be for the rest of his career. I had always dreamed that I'd be right there beside him as he skated around the rink, holding the Cup above his head and smiling. Something inside me snapped, and I decided that I had waited and tried to pretend long enough. I immediately called Zetts under the guise of congratulating him, and found out exactly where they were going to be tonight. If my plane doesn't get delayed, I should be there in plenty of time to walk into the bar where they'll be celebrating, hopefully unnoticed to everyone except Brad.   
  
Anyone would say I'm crazy, and maybe they're right. Flying to another state to be with a man that left me at every opportunity. I know that I should want to run, but I don't. And as I step onto the plane and walk the aisle to take my seat, I know that even if I  _did_  want to run.....  
  
.....It's too late to turn back now.


End file.
